Fight scenes: Good for action movies. Sucky in your kitchen at 2 a.m. after your significant other pisses you off for the 800th time that week.

Here’s the truth: Every couple fights. Or argues. Or has a teensy kerfuffle. Or simply gets annoyed at each other. It’s human nature and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, but it can ruin your mood/day/sexcapades. So here’s a roundup of really useful tips for fighting fair when you feel a brawl coming on. Master these techniques and you’ll get past the mayhem and into the makeup sex much faster.

• The infinitely insightful ladies at Jezebel recommend a whole series of tactics including setting the scene, staying optimistic, thinking about the other person’s point of view, and more. This is your how-to-fight-fair blueprint. Read it.
• In her blog Yes and Yes , Sarah Von Bargen features fighting-fair advice from The Post College Survival Kit. The tips are really, really smart. We especially appreciate this bit of brilliance: Ask yourself “Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?”
• Love is respect.org is all about healthy relationships and ending dating abuse. They make a lot of good points, including: Remember you’re on the same team.
• Before Ev`Yan Whitney created Sex, Love & Liberation , her blog Apricot Tea covered arguments with sensitivity, style, and grace. Our favorite point: Fight with love. Always.
• The famed Dr. Laura Berman (one of Oprah’s go-to sex experts) can help you learn the art of arguing so you communicate effectively when you’re on the warpath.
• If you like your romantic advice on the technical side, How Stuff Works explains How To Be In A Happy Relationship . In this article, it’s revealed that 80% of all conflicts between couples are unsolvable. Thankfully it also divulges how to get past that.
• And for a moment of Zen in your conflict, check out Tiny Buddha for 10 Ways To Overcome Conflicts In Relationships . It’ll calm you down with quotes like, “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

Not trying to be a downer, but we have to go on record stating that no fight should ever get physical. That means nobody touches you and you never lay a hand on anyone in anger. If your fighting reaches that level, please get help . Emotional abuse is also a concern, so be aware of how your fighting makes you feel .

What was the best advice you’ve been given about fighting fair? We’d all like to know, so share your wisdom in the comments section below this article on Bedsider.

Be a lover, not a fighter,
Bedsider

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