Sexual aftercare is a concept that’s borrowed from the kink community, and it’s an important part of sex, whether the sex you’re having is kinky or vanilla. At its most basic level, sexual aftercare is just you and your partner(s) taking care of each other after sex, both physically and emotionally.

What’s the point of sexual aftercare?

There are a few reasons to set up a sexual aftercare practice. It can help you coregulate with your partner as your body comes down from the experience of sex emotionally and physically. It can also deepen the intimacy of the sexual experience. And if any part of the sex you’re having involves doing or saying something (consensually) that is different from what you might do or say outside of a sexual context—like, for example, if you love being called names during sex that you would not want to be called outside of a sexual situation—sexual aftercare can help you reset.

How do you do sexual aftercare?

Sexual aftercare can look a lot of different ways depending on what you need and want after sex, but below are some ideas to get you started.

1. Kissing

You may think of a hot and heavy makeout session as foreplay, but kissing can also be part of aftercare. Kissing can deepen the intimacy of a sexual encounter and help everyone involved feel safe and appreciated after sex.

2. Snuggling

Like kissing, snuggling may be an on-ramp to sex but it can also be the final stop on the road trip. Cuddling has a ton of benefits whether it’s happening before sex, after sex, or in a totally non-sexual context. And getting in a good snuggle after sex can definitely bond you and your partner.

3. Bringing your partner water and/or snacks

There’s something so sexy about a partner bringing you food and water after sex. Not only does it acknowledge that you just gave each other an amazing workout, but it can also make you feel super cared for and nurtured.

4. Taking a shower or bath together

And having a partner wash your hair and/or body can be super romantic and sensual. After sex, it can be a great way to relax any sore muscles and get in some sweet caresses while you’re at it.

5. Taking a walk together

Some people just can’t get enough physical activity, and to those people we say: take a hike, literally! Taking a walk after sex can be a great way to get back to a more physically and emotionally regulated place.

6. Gassing each other up

One of the best forms of aftercare is giving each other compliments after sex. Try telling your partner how hot they are, how much you loved it when they did that thing, how much you love looking at and touching their body and see if it doesn’t make them weak in the knees. Be careful with this one if you’re not looking for round two, because it could get you there in no time!